Death might be a natural part of life, but saying goodbye is never easy. And how we say goodbye matters. At Something Beautiful Remains, we help families honour those they’ve lost with a personalised celebration of life. Our philosophy is, “There are no rules”.
When most people think of funerals they think of black outfits, floral wreaths, and sombre melodies playing in the background. But a funeral doesn’t have to be that way. You can bid farewell in a creative manner that reflects the way your loved one lived their life.
“You don’t have to sit in a chapel with a coffin to say goodbye.”
Caryn and Phil Barling at Something Beautiful Remains know what it’s like to farewell a loved one. Phil’s own mother passed away long before he and Caryn started in the funeral industry.
In hindsight, there was a lack of engagement which saw small details, such as lipstick colour, hair style and signature fragrance, being overlooked.
That’s why there are no rules for those who request their professional funeral services and no assumptions either. Every person is unique and their funeral should be too.
They’ve had tequila shots at funerals, mannequins wearing treasured outfits, and church pews draped in Nanna’s colourful crocheted blankets.
They’ve sent all the guests home with a slice of banana bread in honour of a treasured family joke. Friends and family have celebrated by drinking beer and throwing a line over their loved one’s favourite fishing spot.
“Whatever floats your boat.”
Everything is personal, from start to finish.
You can even attend your own funeral if you want to
How often do we hear all these wonderful things said at a funeral that people should have said while that person was still alive? Sometimes we wait too long to say things and then they end up left unsaid. That’s why Caryn is more than happy to suggest living wakes, where you can attend your own funeral too.
Years ago, an actor and singer who had lived a rather cranky life in the closet engaged Caryn and Phil to host a celebration of his life while he was still alive. He didn’t want a funeral at all. He held his celebration overlooking the Opera House, a place close to his heart, and there was laughter and fun and honesty. He later told Caryn it was the best funeral he’d ever been to.
No assumptions; don’t ever assume
At Something Beautiful Remains, their philosophy is to never assume. They spend time listening to each family and encourage them to throw all their ideas on the table.
Then, Caryn lets them know what’s possible. And people are often very surprised at what is actually possible.
They once celebrated a woman who raised her family as a single mother. When her children were small, she’d go fishing on Friday evenings to unwind, and treat the children to KFC while they watched and played next to her.
The service was held at the very beach where she used to spend those Fridays, with KFC, Hawaiian shirts, and a minister who wore a pair of thongs. This was a perfect way for the family to remember the way she lived, what she loved and all the things that made her who she was.
Another mother, who had many children, grand and great-grandchildren, was Minnie Mouse’s biggest fan. She used to place a $5 note in their birthday envelopes, and decorate them with Minnie mouse stickers. Caryn suggested decorating the coffin with the stickers in lieu of flowers, and the family was thrilled. Her daughter gave the eulogy while dressed as Minnie Mouse, and Caryn and her team all wore mouse ears and matching scarves.
It’s all in the details
When planning a celebration of life, it’s all in the details. The little things matter, and Caryn and her team ensure that everything reflects the person – from the colour themes to the accessories her team members wear on the day.
And did you know coffins can come in all the colours of the rainbow? Or covered in any design from cultural flags to your favourite sporting team? Caryn once pulled out a Dulux colour chart for a family who were initially horrified. That tune changed when they realised they could choose the bright green shade their loved one would have wanted. And as a bonus, the shade shared its name with a family member’s maiden name. It was a sign.
How your loved one arrives at their celebration of life also matters. If your loved one is into supercars, Caryn will try and secure you one. She’s had four wheel drive troop carriers and hot rod hearses and more.
“I’d even try to secure a horse drawn carriage, if that’s what a family wanted.”
An important part of the grieving process
“When people are grieving they go through stages. They’ll think of stupid things that make them laugh. Songs that make them cry. When we do a celebration, we highlight the memories that make you smile. We remember their uniqueness. No one else could have this funeral, because no one else was like them.”
While a celebration of life is a more positive approach to funeral planning, it doesn’t mean there won’t be tears.
Caryn and Phil once held a service for a grandmother who was famous for always having a handkerchief with her. She had quite the collection.
So Caryn washed and pressed them all, then inserted them into the Order of Service booklets. When guests cried that day, whether happy or sad tears, they cried into Grandma’s famous hankies.
“Be kind to each other. Grief is an individual process.”
Grief is a process and Caryn often reminds families that everyone deals with loss in their own way. Planning a funeral is an emotional experience, but one that can lead to the comfort of knowing it was exactly what your loved one would’ve wanted.
Caryn and Phil are on this journey with you from the moment you contact them, during and beyond your personalised celebration of life. They’re also specialists in offering respectful, culturally sensitive first nations funerals and beautiful, individualised LGBTQI+ funerals.
A life well-lived is a life worth celebrating
“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.”– Abraham Lincoln.
While Caryn and Phil can’t take the pain of losing someone away, they can help you say goodbye in a way that matters.
Let them help you remember all the things you loved about your loved one, from traditional to fun; serious to quirky.
To plan the most personalised celebration of life possible, reach out to Caryn or Phil.
They’re available any time, 24 hours a day, every day.
